Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
