if you like me you must not know who I am
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize