i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
