Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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