Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
