I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
