Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Randomize
