Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Randomize
