actually, I'm a sock model
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
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