More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
