I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
We don't watch enough power rangers
That accounts for only three of the penises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
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