can u get pink eye on your cock?
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
