Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
