There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
We have started to decorate penises.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
