Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Randomize
