So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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