I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
