In the future we'll all be gay
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Your shirt... Was in my pants
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
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