marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize