i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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