If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
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