More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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