I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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