So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
