yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
