I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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