I will die if light touches me.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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