I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
