I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize