He had one of those small greek statue penises
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Randomize
