apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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