The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
