Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
