She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
