im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
