why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I'm always down for nudity.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
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