so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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