Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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