We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Randomize
