i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
