Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
