Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
