No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
