dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Screwed.edu
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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