Are we in a gay sports bar?
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize