the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
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Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize