so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
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