I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Randomize
