Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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