OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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