grandma shit on top of the toilet
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
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