Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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