Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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