drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Randomize
