Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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