It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
