Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Your tits are I can't wait for
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
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