return my video game
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
