Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
