You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
40s are totally the cure
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
