I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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