My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
