The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
